The opportunist and how to spot one

Some people use others without intending to (although I'm not entirely sure how that works). But then there are those who intentionally use people, and they are EVERYWHERE, except, sometimes they're a bit harder to spot than one would like. And that is especially true if you are, how do I put it nicely... a little naive. But don't take that the wrong way, I was super naive not too long ago, although I'm finally reclaiming my dignity. And with that, I'm ready to share how to best identify an opportunist so you can avoid them like the plague.

1. You'll (most likely) ONLY hear from them when they need something

This is one of the earliest clues that someone is using you an opportunist. I mean, it's flattering when people think you're smart enough to ask for help or advice about things every now and again. However, it's not so flattering when it seems like it's the only thing a person is doing, most especially if they just seem to magically disappear whenever you need something from them.

No use hoping to get through to them when you're in an emergency situation. They're probably purposely avoiding your call.

2. They take, take, take 

An opportunist is one of those people who doesn't mind taking from you as long as you're offering. You've offered to cook for them? Offered to pay for their meal more than once? They'll keep taking and never offer you anything in return because they never see a reason to, especially because it seems like you are doing a great job at giving of yourself anyway. They probably think you won't notice the imbalance at this point.

Soooo...yeah...they're most likely using you if it isn't already obvious.

3. They won't be available when you ask to hang out (more often than not)

Are you always available to hang out with them when they ask? At least most of the time? Well, guess what? They won't be when you ask them. Unless you're asking them to come with you to a place where they can get in with a crowd they've always wanted to get in with, then forget it. 

There are those opportunists who will hang out with you when you ask though, but only if there's something in it for them, like a free meal, free drinks, or even free gossip – something they won't have to give too much of themselves to get. 

4. They'll act funny with you around other people

Remember all the laughs you share when you're alone? Well, don't expect the atmosphere to be anything like that when you're around people you've introduced them to, or when they start hanging out with people they perceive to be "cooler" than you. 

Watch them be completely silent when you say something they would normally find funny or when you say anything at all. They obviously don't want to come across as someone who is anything like you, and if the others aren't laughing or finding you very amusing, they will want to mirror their behaviour so they can continue to stay in their good graces.

5. They'll ghost you (but make you think it's all in your head)

Finally, when the opportunist no longer needs your services, they'll perform a grand finale disappearing act.

I once confronted a "friend" about why they had suddenly gone MIA at some point. Let's just call them Bob. Their excuse? That they had simply become so busy with their workload and their extra activities that there just wasn't as much time to hang out anymore. Funny that they had no issues with hanging out with everyone else, or letting everyone else know about their newfound achievements, except for me. Let's just say I cut them off so fast I can't even remember how I first met them.

In conclusion, there is nothing wrong with giving of yourself if that's part of who you are. But make sure you aren't overdoing it and that you are getting your slice in return. That doesn't mean that you should automatically expect something back when you offer someone anything, but just make sure you know the difference between someone who is genuinely in it for you and someone who is selfishly taking from you because you're letting them.